If you were a sailboat (Parody) (video)

Am ~

Am F

1. If you were some tiling, I would grout you,

Am F C

if you were a rulebook, I would flout you all the same,

Dm G C

if you were football, you would be my favourite game.

Am F

2. If you were an onion, I would munch you,

Am F C

if you were banker, I would lunch you for a loan,

Dm G C

if you were off work, I've got a hunch I'd stay at home !

Am F

If you were ten pints of beer

G Dm

I would drink you down, my dear, and collapse upon the floor,

Dm G C

ten pints of lager is, I fear, too much for me, and that's for sure !

+ C7 - F - G - C - C7 - F - G

Am F

3. If you were the A66, I'd use you,

Am F C

and cut ten minutes off my usual journey's hell,

Dm G C

if you were a fish shop, I would love that fishy smell.

Am F

If you were ten pints of beer

G Dm

I would drink you down, my dear, and collapse upon the floor,

Dm G C

ten pints of lager is, I fear, too much for me, and that's for sure !

+ C7 - F - G - C - C7 - F - G

Am F

4. If you were a peppercorn, I'd grind you,

Am F C

if you were Jarvis Cocker, I'd remind you to have a bath,

Dm G C

and now I would take you for meal just for a laugh.

Am F

5. If you were a pool, I'd chlorinate you

Am F C

if you were an attic, insulate you, is what I would do,

Dm G C

if you were a radio station, I'd tune in to you.

Dm G C

If you were a radio station, I'd tune in to you

(orig. = capo 4th) (Katie Melua)